My Life in His Hands by Ann Judson of Burma
“…my dear sister Mary, a little sacrifice for the cause of Christ is not worth naming; and I feel it a privilege, of which I am entirely undeserving, to have had it in my power to sacrifice my all for hims who hesitated not to lay down his life for sinners. I rejoice that I had a pleasant home, dear friends, and flattering prospects to relinquish, and that once in my life I had an opportunity of manifesting my little attachment to the cause of Christ. I know you often wish to know certainly, whether I still approve of the first step I took in the missionary cause; and whether, if I had the choice again to make, with my present knowledge and views of the subject, I should make the same. Well, I frankly acknowledge that I should do just the same, with this exception; that I should commence such a life, with much more fear and trembling upon account of my unfitness; and should almost hesitate whether one so vile, so poorly qualified, ought to occupy a sphere of so much usefulness. I do, at times, feel almost ready to sink down in despair, when I realize the responsibility of my situation, and witness my short-comings in duty. If I have grown any in grace since I left America, it has consisted entirely in an increasing knowledge of my unspeakably wicked heart. As to my real religious enjoyment, I think, generally speaking, I have not experienced more than when in America. I do hope, however, vile as I am, to obtain an inheritance in that far better world, where Jesus has prepared mansions for this followers, and will introduce them there himself, sprinkled with his blood, and clothed in his righteousness…” (p. 102-103).